Back again with more Random Velocity matches this week, highlighted be a scuffle between Charlie Haas and Eddie Guerrero. Will I find any hidden gems on my journeys today? Let’s have a read on and find out eh?
7th of August 2004
Billy Gunn Vs WWE United States Champion Booker T
Booker was embroiled in a feud with John Cena over the US Title at this point, with them due to face each other at Summer Slam a week after this in the first match of a Best of Five Series for the title. Bill DeMott is very angry on commentary that Teddy Long has booked Booker against such a “tough” opponent as Gunn so close to Summer Slam. Rumours that “Mr. Ass” slipped DeMott a couple of twenties for that comment are yet to be confirmed…
Gunn gets the better of things in the early going with a back elbow smash, which causes Booker to give him the old stink eye. Booker slugs away on Gunn, but Gunn fires back with punches of his own and then clotheslines Booker over the top to the outside, as we take an advert break.
COMMERCIAL
Back from the break, Gunn has Booker in a wrist lock, but Booker powers him into the corner and unleashes some knees to the gut to take over. Outside we go, where Booker drops Gunn throat first on the ringside barricade before putting him back inside for a knee drop, which nets him a two count. Booker now goes to a chin lock, as Josh Matthews says Gunn never mails it in. I’m sure I could find some matches that would disprove such a theory.
Gunn does manage to power out of Booker’s rest hold and hits a big vertical suplex for a double down. Gunn charges at Booker, but Booker low bridges him and he goes slowly tumbling over the top rope to the outside. Booker slams Gunn on the floor and then taunts the crowd back inside, as Gunn manages to crawl back in.
Gunn fires back on Booker back inside with some punches, but Booker replies with a jumping forearm smash for two. Gunn hits a desperation DDT for another double down, and unloads with punches and clotheslines when both men get back to their feet. Gunn gets a nice Stinger Splash in the corner and sets up for the Fame-Asser, but Booker fights him off and hits a side kick for two.
Gunn gets the Cobra Clutch Slam and goes for the cover, but Booker is able to kick out. Bless Josh Matthews, as he’s really trying to get this match over on commentary. Gunn goes for the Fame-Asser again, but Booker counters it once more, this time with a flapjack, and then follows up with the Scissors Kick for the win.
WINNER: BOOKER T
RATING: *1/2
Gunn was game, but Booker was moving at quarter speed here and did the absolute bare minimum, as was usually the case whenever he worked heel in WWE.
24th of August 2002
Mark Henry Vs Mike Awesome
Awesome was one of those guys you thought would get pushed quite hard in WWE due to his impressive size and natural athleticism, but he ended up being one of the many ex WCW guys who ran afoul of the resident WWF “locker room leaders” and ended up spending most of his time in WWE working the weekend shows. It didn’t help that he was on the Smackdown brand here, which brought him under the booking power of Paul Heyman, who had resented Awesome ever since he’d jumped to WCW as the ECW Champion back in 2000.
Henry was on about his fifth or sixth failed push here as the WWE were pushing his strongman accomplishments once again. Had it not been for a big long term contract, he would have probably been let go by this point before finally getting somewhere with his “Hall of Pain” gimmick. Even with that gimmick I’ve never been an especially big fan of his work, but I could at least just about put up with that one.
Awesome jumpstarts things from the off, but Henry shocks everyone by leapfrogging over him before they both manage to botch a Gorilla Press Slam. Thankfully, Awesome is able to avoid landing directly on his head and the match continues. Awesome hammers Henry down and goes to a chin lock, but Henry shrugs him off and flattens him with a body attack.
Henry goes to a couple of bear hugs, but Awesome is able to fight his way out, only to run right into a powerslam. Awesome comes back with more punches and gets a leg drop for two. This has been ultra-sloppy. Awesome shows off his athletic ability by getting a nice clothesline from the second rope. Henry replies with a rough looking flapjack, but misses the follow up splash.
Awesome heads up top and gets a nice splash of his own, but Henry is able to kick out at two. Awesome tries to go for the Awesome Bomb, but Henry back body drops out of it before getting a big running powerslam to pick up the pin.
WINNER: MARK HENRY
RATING: ½*
These guys had literally zero chemistry. Awesome’s high flying moves were nice enough to avoid it getting a DUD, but that was pretty much the only worthwhile thing in here.
25th of February 2006
Mascarita Sagrada Vs Tsuki
Ah yes, the “Juniors” Division. This was WWE’s attempt at bringing Mexican Mini Wrestling back to the main roster after many years of not having it. They actually went out of their way to bring in some very talented workers for the division, but as Vince McMahon has the attention span of a perverted goldfish with dementia, the whole division ended up getting dropped pretty quickly.
We get some “comedy” to start, as Sagrada runs into the referee, which allows Tsuki to splash him for a two count. Sagrada chases Tsuki around the ring like a dog and then mocks peeing on him, as the crowd don’t even know what to think about this. We get the usual dazzling array of leg sweeps and arm drags that you get in Mini Lucha, before Tsuki goes to the dreaded nipple twizzle.
Sagrada somehow survives that and replies with a back body drop, so Tsuki stomps on his foot and we get more “comedy” with the ref, where he keeps catching Tsuki when Sagrada presses him off. Sagrada replies by biting the referee’s bum, which somehow isn’t a DQ, and then goes to a La Magistral on Tsuki for the win.
WINNER: MASCARITA SAGRADA
RATING: DUD
This was utterly terrible. No wonder they dropped the division if this was the best these guys could do.
16th of October 2004
WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Champion: Spike Dudley Vs Scotty 2 Hotty
This match is from a UK taping in Manchester that I actually attended, but I don’t have much memory of this match. My abiding memory from this Velocity was Orlando Jordan squashing poor Funaki and Rico having an impromptu dance off with Bubba Ray Dudley. Spike had recently turned heel a few months ago and had started bossing Bubba and D-Von around. He was surprisingly good in the role considering he’d been pretty a much a career babyface up to that point.
Scotty gets the crowd into things in the early going and frustrates Spike with standard babyface fare, including hip tosses and a ten punch. Spike chokes away to get back into things before cinching in a chin lock. The crowd get behind Scotty and he gets a sunset flip for two, but Spike is soon back on top of things with punches and stomps.
Spike is drawing genuine heel heat here, and it’s kind of awesome as the wrestling starved UK crowd are into everything they’re doing. Scotty manages a desperation super kick to buy himself some time and then nips up for some punches. Scotty gets a big back suplex and goes for the cover, but Spike is out at two. Scotty goes for the face buster, but Spike counters it with a roll up and grabs the ropes to steal the match.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: SPIKE DUDLEY
RATING: **
This was a basic Velocity match with a really invested crowd. The work was fine and the crowd were into everything, so this gets a thumbs up!
26TH of June 2004
Scoot Andrews Vs Johnny The Bull
Andrews was an early 00’s Indy Darling who many people predicted big things from, but he ended up disappointing on that front. His most memorable thing for me was a feud he had with Xavier in the early days of ROH. The coolest thing about him was his face buster styled finisher called “The Force of Nature”, but I doubt we’ll get to see that here.
Bull, err, bulls Andrews around to start, pushing him into the corner and giving him a derisory shove. Andrews tries an overhand wrist lock, so Johnny uses the ropes to flip out and send Andrews rolling outside. Johnny gets a fireman’s carry slam for two and then out wrestles Andrews, as it looks like he’s supposed to be playing face here.
Andrews sends Johnny shoulder first into the ring post and then gets a springboard guillotine leg drop when Johnny tries to get back inside. Andrews gets a nice jumping side kick, but Johnny replies with a sunset flip for two. Both men trade pin counters and Johnny ends up hitting a spine buster for two.
Johnny slugs away on Andrews and gets a flapjack for two, before raising the roof for some reason. Andrews gets out of whatever move Johnny was planning and goes for a dive off the rope, but Johnny catches him and transitions into a funky looking F-5 styled move to pick up the three count.
WINNER: JOHNNY THE BULL
RATING: *
This was fine, if a little sloppy and lacking in heat. They gave Andrews quite a bit of offence here, but didn’t seem to consider him worth hiring. He probably would have got a gig in NXT were he around today, in the kind of role Danny Burch has.
26th of April 2003
Charlie Haas Vs Eddie Guerrero
Haas and his partner Shelton Benjamin were involved in a feud with Eddie and Chavo Guerrero here over the tag titles, with the two teams set to square off at WWE Backlash for the titles. Shelton had beaten Chavo on the previous Smackdown prior to this match. Eddie goes right for the eyes to start and hammers away on Haas in the corner, as the crowd cheer for him. We get a beautiful leapfrog segment, as both men are so smooth when it comes to execution, and Haas takes the fight outside.
Haas rams Eddie spine first into the ring post outside and then targets the back area when they get back inside the ring. Haas goes to a bow and arrow on Eddie and the delivers some stomps to the back. Haas gets a lovely suplex onto Eddie for two before transitioning to the camel clutch, as it’d be hard to critique his game plan thus far. Eddie is able to back suplex his way out of the hold, but takes a release German Suplex in reply.
Haas pulls down the straps on his singlet and goes to the Haas of Pain, but Eddie is able to make it to the ropes to break the hold. Eddie replies with an attempt at the El Paso Laso, but his back gives out and this allows Haas to get a back suplex of his own for two. Haas goes to a back breaker, but Eddie fights out with knee strikes and gets a head scissors to send Haas outside.
Eddie starts the comeback on Haas and goes to the Three Amigo’s, but his back slows him down on making the cover and Haas is able to kick out. Haas replies with a nice powerslam for two, but Eddie lands on the apron when he tries to back drop him to the outside. Eddie takes Haas down with a hot shot and heads up top for the Frogsplash, which is enough to pick up the three count.
WINNER: EDDIE GUERRERO
RATING: **1/2
A good match to close us out on this week, as the work was good from both men and the match itself told a good story, with Haas going after Eddie’s back but Eddie being resilient to pick up the win.
More Velocity matches will be found for next week.
In the meantime, how about you take a goosey gander at Will’s review of Discover: Lands Unknown by clicking right HERE?
