Retro Wrestle Respawn – Random WWE Velocity Matches #2

Welcome to Volume #2 of Random WWE Velocity Matches! You can have a look at Volume #1 by clicking right HERE

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Paul Burchill Vs Nunzio

This match is from Burchill’s native England and is after he started doing his Jack Sparrow inspired Pirate gimmick, so that would place it either on the Autumn 2005 UK tour or the Spring 2006 UK tour. Being that this is in England, Burchill is pretty over and he swings down from the top of an old school styled double decker bus during his entrance.

Burchill tenaciously tries to hold Nunzio down in the early stages, whilst the crowd chants his name. Josh Matthews harps on about how many famous British pirates there are, talking absolute nonsense whilst doing so. Nunzio manages to get control of things with a seated dropkick to the face and then tries to wear his pirate opponent down with rest holds.

The crowd get behind Burchill and he fights his way up to his feet. Nunzio cuts him off though and goes for the Sicilian Slice from the middle rope, but Burchill dodges it and then starts the comeback on Nunzio with clotheslines and a flapjack for two. Nunzio pokes Burchill in the eyes but, when he tries to follow up; Burchill cuts him off and hits The C4 to pick up the win.

RATING: *1/4

Not much of a match there but the crowd was into Burchill and was very happy to see him win, so there’s that at least.

8th of April 2006
Finlay Vs Psicosis

Finlay was probably too good for Velocity in this period, seeing as he’d recently been a competitor in the Money in the Bank ladder match at WrestleMania 22 and would actually win the United States Title later in the year. Psicosis is the more the sort of guy you’d expect to see filling out the Velocity roster, due to him being a talented smaller guy who Vince McMahon couldn’t care one jot about.

Psiscosis was part of the Mexicools at his stage and came down to the ring riding a lawnmower because…

Thanks, Cenk.

So yeah, we have one racial stereotype taking on another here, because pro wrestling. Finlay bullies Psicosis around to start, but Psi replies by using his speed to try and keep Finlay on his toes. Psi hits Finlay with a nice enziguri to send him outside and then follows up with a baseball slide. Psi looks to add a dive as well, but Finlay catches him in the apron on the way down in a brilliant spot before throwing his opponent face first into the ring post.

Finlay has complete control of things now back inside the ring and locks in an overhead wrist lock to wear Psi down. Psi tries fighting out of the hold but Finlay clobbers him down to put a stop to that. Psi is able to reply with a running bulldog headlock and then hits a spinning wheel kick. He tries the move from the top as well but Finlay moves and there’s no water in the pool. With his opponent stunned, Finlay makes good use of the situation by dropping him with the Celtic Cross for the win.

RATING: *1/2

This was an enjoyable bout that left me wishing I could see both men have a rematch with more time to craft a more engrossing story to go along with their solid execution.

17th of April 2004
Doug Basham w/ Danny Basham Vs D-Von Dudley w/ Bubba Ray Dudley

The Basham “Brothers” had debuted on Smackdown back in 2003 and had actually won the tag team titles, but after losing them to Scotty 2 Hotty and Rikishi they ended up spending 2004 doing a fat load of nothing in the mid card before joining up with John Bradshawn Layfield as members of his “Cabinet” stable. The Dudley Boyz had recently come over to Smackdown from Raw following the draft lottery, but were starting to feel rather stale after a nearly 5 year stint in WWE.

D-Von out wrestles Doug to start, whilst the crowd chant that they want to see tables. The wrestling itself is actually quite nice, as D-Von shows that he had some decent technical acumen when he wasn’t indulging in violent brawls. Both men collide and bang heads, which leads to D-Von rolling to the outside, where Bubba checks on him. Whilst this is going on however, Danny swaps places with his brother and takes D-Von down with a back suplex.

This may be a smart move in kaybabe, but in real life it’s a bit of a bummer as Doug was always the workhorse of the team, whilst Danny was more the muscle, which means the match quality will probably suffer as consequence. In a silly moment, Bubba points out to the ref that the Basham’s have switched, but the ref has to pretend he doesn’t notice, which is silly because facially Doug and Danny don’t really look alike at all. Way to make the ref look like a chump lads, bravo!

Danny works D-Von over with basic stuff and then goes to a chin lock. Err Danny, your partner did literally all the actual wrestling in the opening section, why do you need to rest right now? Danny whips D-Von hard into the corner and gets a jack-knife cradle for two before going to another rest hold. D-Von fights out of the hold and then dodges a charge in the corner before starting his comeback with a shoulder tackle for two.

D-Von runs wild on Danny and hits a nice swinging neck breaker for two, before getting a pair of big clotheslines for yet another near fall. I’m loving D-Von’s work here, he’s giving a very good account of himself in this match. Doug tries tripping D-Von to halt his momentum, but the referee sees his interference and ejects him from ringside. Whilst that is going on, Bubba Ray sneaks in and helps D-Von hit the 3-D to pick up the win and hoist the heels by their own petard.


I enjoyed this quite a lot, as D-Von was an excellent babyface and worked the match really well.

22nd of October 2005
Christian Vs Brian Kendrick

This was one of Christian’s last appearances for WWE before he jumped to TNA in November 2005. He was vocally unhappy at his treatment during this time and WWE were seemingly going out of its way to ensure he was as miserable as possible. This should be a good match at least considering that both men are good wrestlers, let’s just hope Christian is motivated.

Kendrick responds to a slap from Christian by running wild with dropkicks and flying forearms before delivering some slaps of his own. Christian goes to the eyes in response and then drops Kendrick ribs first on the top rope before smacking him with a big knee strike to send him outside. Christian stomps and chokes away back inside the ring, much to the referees dissatisfaction, before getting a nice rib breaker for two.

Christian continues to work the ribs and even locks in an abdominal stretch. Sadly Gorilla Monsoon isn’t alive to complain that the move is incorrectly applied, but Christian soon lets go anyway and hits a face first suplex. Kendrick manages a desperation enziguri to restore some parity and gets a backslide out of nowhere for two before making a comeback.

Christian tries to throw Kendrick out of the ring, but he lands on the apron and heads up top. Christian tries to bring him down with a superplex, but Kendrick fights him off before following up with a back senton splash from the top rope. That looks to be the finish but Christian is able to get a foot on the rope to stop the count. Undeterred, Kendrick goes for Sliced Bread #2, but Christian blocks it and hits the Unprettier to pick up the win.

RATING: **1/4

Decent match there, with Christian showing some keen viciousness, whilst Kendrick was good as a gutsy face. It would have been nice to see both men get more time, which is a trend we’re seeing this week.

30th of October 2004
Shannon Moore Vs Carlito Caribbean Cool

Moore was in the prototypical stage of his Prince of Punk gimmick here, whilst Carlito had only just debuted on Smackdown a few weeks prior to this, winning the United States Title on his first appearance against John Cena of all people. In reality, Cena had to go a shoot a movie, so they wrote him out of storylines for a few weeks by saying that Carlito arranged for a hired goon to attack The Doctor of Thuganomics in a night club and injure his kidney.

It was a pretty silly storyline and annoyingly the injury angle happened a week before I went to a Smackdown taping in Manchester, so I didn’t actually get to see Cena at that show. In fact, I still haven’t seen him live fourteen years later. He’s pretty much the only major WWE star of this era I haven’t seen wrestle in person.

Anyway, to the match, where Carlito toys with Shannon to start in his usual cocky manner, before grabbing the ropes to block a wrist lock and bailing outside. Does anyone think that Carlito and Marouane Fellaini might use the same hair stylist by the way? Yeesh, that’s one heck of bonnet The Coolmeister is sporting!

Moore frustrates Carlito with his speed and agility before dropkicking him to the outside. Carlito is able to dodge a follow up plancha however and rams his face into the apron before rolling him back in. Carlito works Moore over back inside and goes to a chin lock, whilst Josh Matthews and Bill DeMott squabble on commentary. Carlito gets a nice high knee/clothesline combo, but waits too long to cover and Moore is out at two. Moore gets a desperation sunset flip for two, but it’s not long before he’s cut off once again.

Moore gets another flash roll up, but Carlito is out at two again and goes to a sit out surfboard. Moore fights out of that and starts his comeback with some clotheslines before hitting an Overcastle from the second rope for two. Moore goes for a ten punch in the corner, but Carlito drops him face first onto the top rope and hits the Cool Breaker (Play of the Day) for the win.


The match flow was a bit fractured, but the work itself was basically fine. Carlito worked well as a heel and the fans were into Moore’s comebacks, but the match didn’t really enthuse me.

7TH of May 2005
WWE Cruiserweight Champion Paul London Vs Akio

London and Akio had a series of great matches on Velocity which, combined with a man sized bump off the apron in the 2005 Royal Rumble match, got London sufficiently noticed enough to be given a run with the Cruiserweight Title. Sadly London’s propensity of riling up the wrong people would eventually lead to him losing the title and getting shunted down the card for a bit, which was a shame as his matches as Champion were generally good and raised the prestige of the Title.

London gets the better of things in the opening wrestling segment before getting a Karate Kid like Crane Kick. Akio responds to this with a nasty dropkick to the midsection before dropkicking London off the apron to the floor. Akio targets the mid-section now by ramming London rib first into the ring apron before going to a rest hold back inside.

London powers out of a front face lock and drops Akio crotch first on the top rope, before starting his comeback. London lands on his feet from an Akio back body drop attempt and hits a nice jumping side kick for two. London heads up top and goes for a cross body, but Akio catches him in the gut on the way down and heads up top. London catches Akio though and brings him down with a rana from the top for the win.

RATING: *1/2

Well below their usual standard here, as London was too busy doing comedy in the shine and Akio was too busy applying rest holds in the heat. These two were always at their best wrestling a frantic high paced match. Sadly WWE insisted on everyone working the same style, even if it meant handicapping some of their best performers.

No real blow away matches this week, but there were some that could have been had they been given more time.

Whilst you’re here, why not take a goosey gander at Scott’s review of Suicide Guy: Sleepin’ Deeply by clicking right HERE

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