Gabe Newell Simulator is actually a thing and is releasing today

Just when you thought the plethora of crap releasing on Steam couldn’t get any worse, it turns out that a Gabe Newell Simulator is actually a game and believe it or not, it is set to release today.

As you could guess, the game puts you in the shoes of Valve Boss Gabe Newell in what looks like a third-person shooter, a poorly executed one at that. There has been some awful games released on Steam which shouldn’t even warrant a price-tag and once again, another is coming along.

Now, I am not a game developer but if I was, I know for a fact I wouldn’t create a generic FPS with assets I have purchased, slap it all together then release it on Steam for people to BUY. Gabe Newell Simulator is obviously supposed to be a joke but what is funny about assets with Gabe Newell’s head on them?

Here is the games description, shall we take a read?

“Gabe Newell Simulator is a game for those who have always dreamed of being the glorious PC Master Race Gabe Newell! 
You can impersonate Gaben and help him in his fight against other companies and make the decision to release Half Life 3 or not, and this will have drastic consequences in the whole universe! 
Explore the different rooms and corridors of Valve Corporation (many inspired by real ones), the secret lab and… their space station!”

Key Features

  • Millions of easter eggs! There are already several easter eggs in the game and finished early access there will be many more
  • You can watch for hours the face of Gabe
  • You can release Half Life 3
  • You can eliminate forever Half Life 3

The game is developed by Antonio “Exinot” Renna who states that he has written permission from Gabe Newell himself to use his name and likeness in the game otherwise it wouldn’t be possible.

“Don’t worry, I have the written permission of Gabe Newell, otherwise I would not have even been able to publish ;)”, said Renna on Steam’s forums.

I’m not sure how I feel about that. I mean, it’s good that Gabe Newell seems to have a sense of humour but at the same time, he has personally signed off this game which looks like absolute shit. Is that the kind of content Valve want available on Steam?

Oh and the game is in Early Access. Wait, what? The game isn’t even finished.

If you are interested in playing as Gabe Newell in a poor, generic FPS, the game unlocks later today.

With the state of Greenlight and poor games releasing on Steam, I reckon the team at Gaming Respawn should create our own game with no experience and try to get it onto Steam. What does everyone reckon?


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Daniel Choppen October 13, 2015 at 14:08

I think Gabe has always seen Steam’s value as a platform in that it doesn’t distinguish what it does or does not sell. It merely presents to you what you are buying so you can make the decision for yourself. While it gets a lot of flak for this, I personally agree. If people want to have fun and make a silly game, more power to them. Me thinking its a pile of trash doesn’t mean they can’t do it. Valve hasn’t failed because its allowed that game to be put on its platform, it would have failed if gamers bought that game and were disappointed with it, to which they’ve gone someway to correct recently with Steam refunds.

Stephen October 13, 2015 at 18:30

I agree with what you have said above and if people waste their time and money on such games then that is their decision. My issue is that its created an influx of “developers” jumping on the band wagon thinking they can release any old tosh and that as a whole brings the industry down. We either get bombarded with DLC or microtransactions in full AAA games or we get developers who get greedy and never finish a game on Early Access or fail to deliver. There are of course exceptions to that but as a whole I think the industry is in a pretty poor state right now.

What happened to the days when a developer never released or shared the very first few games they made as they were gaining experience? They wouldn’t share them, let alone ever think of selling them because they were crap, we all start somewhere. Now it seems that isn’t the case. It looks like they aren’t bothered about their fans or creating a good game, just about making money.

I still think Steam should have some quality assurance in some capacity, for all games regardless of developer. Batman Arkham Knight should never have been released on PC, but anything goes these days. These type of guys aren’t developers or programmers, they have just used assets someone else made and slopped it together.

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