I’m in a bit of a gaming lull at the moment. There isn’t anything blowing me away that I desperately want to play in the near future in the PlayStation Store pre-orders list. So, in an effort to cheer myself up, I checked out what games are on the wishlist…list. Admittedly, there are some bangers in that section, but I was blown away, shocked, and even depressed at how many upcoming games were there, which frankly made me think: “You have got to be kidding me!”.
The games listed below are REAL upcoming games you can look forward to seeing on the PSN! In some of these games, the titles speak for themselves.
We shall kick things off with Hobby Horsing Simulator! Talk about a niche market! The game’s description is as follows: “In this imaginative simulation, you harness your trusty hobby horse, customize it with exciting decorations, and test your skills across dynamic obstacle courses.”
If you are struggling to say anything after seeing this, then you are not alone. I’m sitting here numb yet trying to type! However, the next game will move you in more ways than one into action, and it’s my favorite of this article.
Dark Farts: Bollywood Smell Edition. I’ll let the trailer do the talking for this one. If nothing else, this trailer is going to make you smile. I’ve had to watch this trailer (you can see it in the link to the game on the PSN Store) over and over just to convince myself that this is real, this is happening, and it’s not just some trolling joke.
When I saw this, I wondered what the developers had been smoking, which led me nicely onto the next game. Quick quiz. Which of the below three titles are real upcoming games?
-Cannabis Shop Simulator?
-Weed Lord Simulator?
-Drug Farmer Simulator?
None? Just one of them? If you said all three, you would be correct! Yes, it appears the hottest most sought-after trend right now is to get into the drug world with not one but three upcoming games to keep you satisfied. However, do not fear. If you wish to stay on the right side of the law by keeping your drugs the legal over-the-counter kind, you could still get your hands on Pharmacy Store Simulator.
One of the things most people actually buy from pharmacies/chemists, certainly within the UK, are condoms. Condoms, I’m sure, will be just one of the items you will need to know about with the next game I found. Sex Shop Simulator. Yes, you too can run the shop where fantasy becomes reality!
I could go on and on with the simulator games that are there, but in an effort to move on, I’ll just list some of the lowlights (or highlights, if any of the following are your thing) of what is upcoming in the simulator world!
Collectible Cars Shop Simulator
My Recycling Center
Laundry Shop Simulator
Designer Store Simulator
Finnish Cottage Simulator
Gym Business: Fitness Empire Simulator
And finally, my personal favorite of these:
Grandma Cleaning Simulator: Family Business Tycoon
World War II games always pique my interest as that period of history is of personal interest to me. So, imagine my delight at spotting two World War II-themed games. The first really got me going when I read what the developers said about it.
“The World of War II: Frontlines of History. Step into the pages of history and embark on an extraordinary journey through the tumultuous landscapes of the World of War II in our immersive gaming experience.”
Oh, I was jumping up and down in my seat about this one and shouting, “Let me see!”. Then, this is what I saw from a screenshot.
Talk about deflating. Remind me, we are in 2025, aren’t we? Video game consoles have more power than a calculator these days, don’t they? That doesn’t exactly look like an “immersive gaming experience” or part of an “extraordinary journey” to me.
No worries. There is another game in the same genre. Maybe that’s better. United Assault – Final Stand. Let’s look at a screenshot of that game, and I bet you that it’s better than the last….oh, snap.
Okay. There must be an upcoming game that actually wants to utilize the power of the PS5, right? Not only that but the PS5 Pro enhanced! AHHH, found one. I bet this will be good. It says it’s PS5 Pro ENHANCED! Awesome. It’s called Snoot Runner. You play as a dog chasing burgers. Okay, let us look at some screenshots.
Let’s be kind. It may be a fun yet boring kind of addictive game, but PS5 Pro Enhanced!? WHERE? What for?
Give me strength….
One last try at trying to find something good. Here we go.
Cat President: A More Purrfect Union. Find love in a world where cats run the US Government.
(I’m sitting here not actually able to type anything right now)
Okay, joking aside. I’m sure some of these games above might end up being quite good (Dark Farts), but the gaming industry is a cutthroat business where game sales matter. It beggars belief that any of the above games will sell well enough to warrant the developers even covering the costs of making the games, let alone making a profit. That begs the question: Why bother in the first place?
How many copies of Hobby Horsing Simulator, for example, will they need to sell before it’s deemed a success? Whatever figure they have in their minds, we all know they aren’t going to hit it!
The one thing I love about video games is the fact that it’s a medium where anything is possible and can be explored. Some of the best games I’ve ever played are the wackiest. However, since when was the mundane (shop simulators) something to covet? There might be some who dream of being a good shop manager, but the fact that some of the above games are so niche in such a tiny area of interest astounds me.
I hope I’m proven wrong and that everyone involved in the above games still have jobs by the end of the year. I really hope that in the 2025 gaming awards, the shock winner of the best indie game and game of the year is Grandma Cleaning Simulator: Family Business Tycoon. We can but hope, but I’m pretty sure it won’t happen.
